Couples therapy isn't just for troubled relationships anymore; it's seen as helpful for any stage of a relationship. Dealing with problems early rather than waiting until divorce is mentioned is in everyone's best interest.
Even though some people think couples therapy is only for when a relationship is about to end, most couples I work with are just interested in getting help with talking about challenging feelings and topic that cause conflict. But things like the cost of treatment and a lack of understanding about what couples therapy is likely to prevent some people from trying it.
In couple's therapy, couples are helped to talk about how they communicate their feelings, solve problems, and understand each other, all to get you to start enjoying life together in new ways.
It's not just about saving the relationship; a couples therapist will help you and your partner work on your commitment to each other, communicating effectively, and how to express and strengthen feelings towards each other.
I'm a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a veteran couples therapist with nearly a decade of experience helping people heal and nurture relationships, and if you're not sure if you should call a couples counselor like myself, consider taking the 'do we need couples therapy' quiz. It might make it really clear. For more on Family Therapy Los Angeles and Couples Therapy Los Angeles, check out those two pages.
Who Should Take The DO WE NEED COUPLES THERAPY Quiz?
The online couple's therapy quiz is designed for anyone in a romantic relationship looking to assess if couples therapy could be helpful for them. This quiz is intended for couples who may be experiencing challenges and are considering seeking professional guidance and support to improve their bond. It is important to note that the quiz is not designed to assess if one partner needs therapy over the other. Instead, it is meant to provide a brief and clear assessment of whether couples therapy could benefit both individuals in the relationship.
Do you and your partner find it difficult to talk about certain topics like money and sex?
Does your partner mention divorce?
When you do fight, do you or your partner resort to name-calling or give the silent treatment?
Is it hard for you or your partner to discuss things or even talk when feeling sad or angry?
Is it challenging to spend time together as a partner without a fight starting?
Does talking about topics like money, family, friends, or your future life require a crazy amount of effort to avoid relationship blow-ups?
Do you not enjoy spending time like you used to with each other or find you're too busy to spend time together for weeks on end?
After you argue, do you or your partner find it hard to forgive after you fight?
Does one of you mention divorce or threaten to go your separate ways after an argument?
If so, this quiz may help you determine if a couple's counselor could be a valuable resource for strengthening your relationship.
Take Our Couples Therapy Quiz Here:
How Accurate Are The Marriage Counseling Quiz Results?
As a therapist, I understand the importance of accurate assessments in determining if couples may benefit from counseling. It's important to note that while this online test can provide valuable insight, it is a self-assessment tool and not a substitute for professional evaluation. The quiz is based on the Locke-Wallace Relationship Adjustment Test, which is a widely recognized measure of general marital quality and satisfaction.
The scoring and interpretation of the 'do we needs couples therapy' assessment are based on a complex system with ten-item weightings, reflecting common issues and conversation topics that cause conflict for couples. Higher scores indicate better marital satisfaction and more agreement between spouses. However, it's important to approach the results with caution and consider seeking professional help for a more in-depth evaluation.
According to a study by Freeston and Plechaty, the assessment has shown to have good reliability and criterion-related validity, making it a valuable tool to consider as you and your partner explore the option of counseling.
What It Suggests If Your Scores Are High Or Low
If your scores were shallow on the 'do we need couples therapy quiz' or Locke-Wallace Marital Adjustment Test, it may be a sign there are some red flags and that talking to a professional counselor could benefit you and your partner.
A low score could indicate potential areas of growth and improvement, such as healing unresolved conflicts, tools to stop you from getting into a fight too often, or skills to improve intimacy. By exploring counseling as a proactive measure, you can work together to enhance your communication and intimacy skills, ultimately strengthening your bond and improving the quality of your relationship.
On the other hand, if your score was high on the test, it doesn't necessarily mean you can celebrate! There may be other factors that were not assessed that indicate seeking counseling as a preventative measure could be valuable in enhancing your intimacy skills before any potential issues escalate. This could ultimately lead to a more fulfilling, fun, and satisfying bond in the long run.
Why Even Consider Couples Or Couples Counseling
Partners should consider counseling if they are experiencing communication issues, trust issues, cheating, and intimacy problems. These issues can be incredibly challenging to navigate on your own, and seeking the support of a trained mental health professional can provide a safe and neutral space to address and work through these issues.
Couples counseling can offer numerous benefits, such as improved connection, enhanced problem-solving skills, increased self-awareness, and a strengthened bond. Through the guidance of a therapist, couples can learn effective strategies to understand and listen, rebuild trust, and address any intimacy issues that may be present.
How to Bring Up Couples Therapy With Your Partner.
Many couples find themselves at a crossroads, unsure whether to seek outside help or decide if their issues can be resolved independently. If you are feeling stuck and are considering the idea of couples therapy, especially if you've just taken our 'Do We Need Couples Therapy Quiz,' it can be helpful to approach the topic with empathy and understanding. It's essential to communicate to your partner that you care about the relationship, don't want to fight, and want to work together to improve it.
I often encourage couples to take an online test as a first step to evaluate the state of their relationship and whether counseling may be beneficial. This assessment can help identify areas of strength and areas that may need attention, providing a starting point for an open and honest conversation about the possibility of seeking professional help. Remember, therapy is not a sign of weakness but rather a proactive step towards strengthening your marriage.
Therapy Alternatives: DIY Couples Counseling
When seeking DIY resources, it's crucial to identify reputable sources that offer evidence-based advice. Look for resources created by authors with credible credentials, such as renowned therapists and experts in couples counseling.
For example, books like:
"The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by John Gottman and
"Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love" by Dr. Sue Johnson is written by renowned therapists and provides practical advice rooted in evidence-based practices.
"Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence" by Esther Perel, a well-known couple's therapist, offers insights into the complex interplay between intimacy and desire in long-term partnerships.
What Are Some of The Signs We Might Need Therapy?
Recognizing when issues arise that may require outside help to prevent them from escalating further. Signs that you may need couples counseling include constant arguing, feeling disconnected from your partner, frequent misunderstandings or miscommunication, lack of intimacy or emotional connection, unresolved conflicts, or recurring issues that continue to cause tension between you both.
If one or both of you are considering separation or divorce, it may be beneficial to seek couples therapy as a last attempt to salvage things. Other signs that indicate the need for couples counseling include infidelity, lack of trust, financial disagreements, parenting conflicts, substance abuse issues, or significant life changes such as job loss or relocation that have put a strain on the relationship. By addressing these issues in a safe and supportive environment with a trained professional, couples can work towards rebuilding trust, improvecommunication, and decide how best to create a stronger foundation for their relationship. Counseling can possibly provide couples with the first opportunity to learn effective ways of resolving conflicts and rebuilding their trust with one another.
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